Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tschüβ, Deutsch!

Our first nine months in Hamburg have flown by like the wind. The anxiety and excitement I had prior to stepping foot on Deutsch soil is so long gone that I barely remember it. I do, however, remember my unwaivering commitment to perfecting the oh-so-difficult Deutsch language. We'll be there two whole years, of COURSE I'll learn it! Why wouldn't I? HOW couldn't I? Oh, feels like years ago.

Reggie and I both soaked up as much Rosetta Stone as possible as soon as we arrived. Every night we wore those big black headphones and glued ourselves to the computer repeating back vocabulary and common phrases in our best German accents--and constanly being told by the computer that we had no German accents. Through practice and daily studies my vocabulary and understanding grew quickly. Distant memories of verb conjugations from college Spanish slowly came drifting back and were somewhat helpful. Regardless of my attempts to speak proper German to cashiers and servers, they always knew I wasn't German and answered promptly in English. Perhaps it is the incredibly difficult pronunciation that German should pride itself on that gave me away. Or, perhaps it is the fact that nearly everyone in the world speaks English and wants to use it every chance they get. Even those less than helpful folks that say they only speak a little English can rattle off details about the history of the US that I cannot even recall--all in English. This English phenomenom includes everyone from kids to the elderly, from bank tellers to doctors to cabbies--English is everywhere.

Nevertheless, Reggie and I  enrolled in language classes in September. I started several nights a week after work and Reggie took an intensive course during the day. I used flashcards, kept a German notebook, and downloaded German apps on my iPhone. I was determined. I didn't even get frustrated when I learned there are sixteen forms of 'the' in the German language and not only are nouns categorized as feminine and masculine, they can also be neutral. I stood strong and soaked it in. Then, we learned that the 'the' you use depends on the gender of the noun. Okay, I can take that. What else ya got? And then one day in December, the same day I had accepted four new private teaching clients raising my grand total to ten, our teacher hit us with the worst news yet--I remember it like yesterday: There are nearly 200 hundred irregular verbs in German. This means you cannot follow the rules I have taught you until now for conjugating. No, for these 200 verbs you must just memorize the seven conjugations.

What? No.

But yes. And then everything changed. Slowly I felt my motivation to learn this glorious (and by glorious I mean painful) language ooze out of me completely and spill all over the floor. That day I realized that Seedlings and my private work were so fulfilling that I didn't need to pretend I wanted to continue learning German. And so I stopped. Yep, just like that. I know, I know--where is my perserverance?! My passion?! I hear you--and for months I felt guilty for giving up on my 'dream' of learning German. Slowly, I came to terms with the fact that I chose my career over German. And, with how unpleasant-sounding of a language it can be (you should hear German yoga! Actually, no, stick with English) compared to the cuteness of Seedlings, I am satisfied with my choice to say, Tschüβ, Deutsch! (Bye, German!) It was great while it lasted and I'll always remember you fondly.

Needless to say I continue to use German on a daily basis when interacting in public. Though it's not necessary I feel it's the appropriate thing to do. In order to keep my skills sharp I started a German Practice Circle with some friends from the American Women's Club. We meet bi-weekly during our lunch hour with one or two native German speakers and speak German until we--actually no, just me--are red, yellow, and black in the face.


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